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The Art of Living

Marcus Aurelius’s Ten Commandments

Massimo Pigliucci studies the Stoic Emperor’s to-do list.

Commandments are generally lists of things someone requires someone else to do, usually with the implied threat that something bad will happen if they don’t. In the case of the Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121-180 CE), though, the list we find in section 18 of the 11th book of his Meditations is actually comprised of wise suggestions to himself. Still, they may help us as well:

“Firstly: Consider your relation to humankind and that we came into the world for the sake of one another” (trans. C.R. Haines). According to the Stoics, all human beings are brothers and sisters, members of the cosmopolis, the ‘universal city’ of humanity. Nature put us here to help each other; as is generally the case for highly social species.

“Secondly: Consider what sort of individuals others are at board and in bed and elsewhere. Above all how they are the self-made slaves of their principles, and how they pride themselves on the very acts in question.” One way to be charitable toward others is to remember that many sincerely follow misguided principles; for instance, the notion that owning more things and having more money makes one happier and better than others.

“Thirdly: That if they are acting rightly, there is no call for us to be angry. If not rightly, it is obviously against their will and through ignorance.” Like Plato, the Stoics thought that we do bad things out of a particular kind of ignorance better rendered as ‘unwisdom’. So instead of getting angry with people who err, let us try to teach them the right way.

“Fourthly: That you too do many a wrong thing yourself and are much as others are and if you do refrain from certain wrong-doings, yet you have a disposition inclined to such things.” It’s not like we don’t do, or at the very least are not tempted to do, bad things ourselves. So why not cut some slack to other people?

“Fifthly: That you have not even proved that they are doing wrong. Speaking generally a person must know many things before they can pronounce an adequate opinion on the acts of another.” A further incentive toward humility is the reminder that, often, we don’t know enough about what other people’s motives for action actually are, so that it would be both premature and presumptuous to judge.

“Sixthly: When you are angry or even out of patience, remember that human life is momentary, and in a little while we shall all have been laid out.” A standard Stoic technique when all else fails is to adopt the so-called ‘view from above’: nudge yourself to look at the problem sub specie aeternitatis – from the point of view of eternity – and things will more readily acquire their proper proportion.

“Seventhly: That in reality it is not what people do that vex us but the opinions we form of those acts.” Modern cognitive behavioral therapy has fully adopted this Stoic insight that there is a difference between events and our opinions of the events. We may not be able to change what people do, but we can certainly correct our interpretation of it. Such reframing is well known to have major therapeutic effects, especially calming down emotions like anger and anxiety.

“Eighthly: Consider how much more grievous are the consequences of our anger and vexation at such actions than are the acts themselves which arouse that anger and vexation.” Not infrequently the anger we feel in response to what someone has said or done has far more negative and lasting consequences than the actual damage brought about by what has been said or done, especially on our own psyches. So it’s self-defeating to insist in cultivating so-called ‘righteous’ anger.

“Ninthly: That kindness is irresistible, be it but sincere and no mock smile or a mask assumed.” Perhaps Marcus was a bit optimistic here, but it is true that tricky situations are helped out far more by a kind disposition and a smile than by the exercise of sarcasm and vitriol.

“And take if you will as a tenth gift from Apollo, the Leader of the Muses, this, that to expect the bad not to do wrong is worthy of a fool; for that is to wish for impossibilities. But to acquiesce in their wronging others, while expecting them to refrain from wronging you, is unfeeling and despotic.” We need to be realistic, and therefore prepared for the reality that people do bad things. However, as Marcus adds, that’s no excuse for not acting to reduce or redress injustice, whenever it is in our power to do so.

These reflections reveal Marcus Aurelius not as a stern moralist dispensing rigid rules, but as a thoughtful practitioner working through the daily challenges of human relationships with wisdom and compassion. What makes his ‘commandments’ so enduringly powerful is his Stoic recognition that our greatest struggles are often not with external circumstances themselves, but with our responses to them.

In an age of social media outrage, political polarization, and increasing social fragmentation, Marcus’s call to approach others with humility, understanding, and realistic expectations feels remarkably contemporary. His suggestions offer us a practical philosophy for navigating conflict and disappointment – not by retreating from the world or by suppressing our emotions, but by cultivating the kind of inner resilience that allows us to engage with others more skillfully. Perhaps most importantly, these reflections remind us that, at its best, philosophy is not merely an intellectual exercise but a lived practice that transforms how we move through the world, one encounter at a time.

Massimo Pigliucci is the K.D. Irani Professor of Philosophy at the City College of New York. His books include How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life (Basic Books) and Beyond Stoicism: A Guide to the Good Life with Stoics, Skeptics, Epicureans, and Other Ancient Philosophers (with Greg Lopez and Meredith Kunz, The Experiment). More by him at figsinwintertime.substack.com.